Base Mischief
by d3vilish
Summary: Jack's lack of concentration has him mixing his fantasies with reality... or does it! A fun short story with possible continuations.


A new fun one... I'm deciding on whether or not to make a series of these...

**-d3vilish**

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Base Mischief - Chapter 1: Briefing Banter

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"...and as you can see here," Daniel pin-pointed a section of the slide before continuing, "the carvings on the ruins discovered by SG-9 on their recon mission to P3X 415 appear to be written in a rare dialect of Ancient. I haven't been able to translate _everything_ the text is referring to but I do know that in this part here, it describes a device - a defense mechanism of sorts – that was hidden on the planet." _Huge honkin' space gun maybe? _The slide changed. "The phrase seen here can be loosely translated to…"

And Jack was zoned out. He glanced down at his watch. _Six minutes, twenty eight seconds! Not bad considering it's 0800 hours and Daniel is the one running the briefing._ He was actually surprised that he lasted this long, usually he started drifting off before the briefing objective statement was read. But it wasn't like he didn't pay attention. He paid attention… to other things. And it wasn't like he didn't listen. He listened… sometimes. Maybe it was the fact that the lights were always off when the projector was on.

Jack glanced across the table in boredom. His pen could only provide so much entertainment before he resorted to other means. General Hammond listened to Daniel's analysis of the ruins – anything to help Earth's defenses against the Goa'ould was worth paying attention to. Continuing over, he looked over at his Jaffa friend. Teal'C had one eyebrow raised listening to Daniel's fascination with whatever it was he was talking about_. _Staring at his Jaffa friend an amusing thought crossed his mind:_ I wonder if T ever blinks. _He stared for a minute waiting for his still friend to blink glancing at his watch and then back at Teal'C trying not to miss this event… _Nope. Nothing._ _Three minutes later and not a single flinch. Wait, there was that one time he got sand in his eyes, but that doesn't count._

Beside Teal'C was Sam - the one person that Jack could never get bored of. She sat there intently listening to Daniel speak while scribbling notes and graphs in her lab book – occasionally circling something in her briefing file. Her upper lip was slightly curled. That usually meant that she had a theory or explanation behind whatever it was Daniel was talking about.

See! There were things he paid attention to. Like the way Carter's eyebrows fringed when she was deep in thought listening to what ramifications various devices could have. Or the way she'd jot down notes during the briefing and then rushed off to her lab to type them up expanding on each and every item. Or the way she'd bite her lower lip while she tinkered with her numerous devices. He loved to watch her lips. They'd part occasionally just before she was ready to add something – sometimes she'd change her mind and then they'd close but only after exhaling slightly. Jack knew every detail, every breath that she made. He loved to watch her. He could never get tired of tracing how her BDUs fit across each curve of her body. He paid **special** attention to that. Of course no one knew he was doing it. What kind of Black Ops agent would he be if he couldn't hide his actions? More importantly, this was the only way he could stand to be around her without feeling the urge to push her up against the nearest surface and screw her – regulations or not. Sometimes he did it just to see how far he could go without getting caught. It was incredible how she never knew how sexy she really was – completely oblivious to the number of airmen that glanced after her in the hallways. Not to mention the eggheads – they could barely speak straight sentences when she was around.

Daniel flicked on the lights. _Was the briefing over already?_ She turned to face him, about to ask him a question.

"Do you think we should make out, sir?"

His eyebrows raised and jaw dropped. _Tell me I'm not the only one who heard that._ "**Excuse** me Carter?" Jack glanced around the room to find that no one else's expression had changed. _Okay, I guess no one else heard that._

"The planet. Do you think we should _check it out_, sir?" Sam's expression didn't budge. "P3X 415?" She added for clarity when he didn't respond yet again.

His expression remained stunned. "Did anyone else hear that?"

Sam blinked completely oblivious to what Jack could have possibly meant. "Hear what sir?"

"Sam asked you if we should check out the planet. You said _Excuse me?_ And then she said it again." Daniel reiterated to a currently perplexed O'Neill. "Why…what's going on Jack?"

"That is indeed what transpired O'Neill." Teal'C confirmed the events.

_O'Neill you dirty bastard, not only are you imagining things, you're hearing things too! _

"Is something wrong Colonel?" General Hammond asked.

His confused expression remained. "No sir. Perfectly fine sir - anything to help in the fight against the Gould sir."

After a hard unconvinced stare, General Hammond continued. "Okay, dismissed people. You leave at 1500 hours tomorrow."

Jack shot up and walked out quickly before Daniel could corner him.

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_Later at Sam's house…_

"Did you see the look on his face!" Daniel laughed almost tilting his beer bottle a little too much.

"Okay, that's the last one for you." Sam said as she grabbed the bottle out of his hand and rested it on the table.

Teal'C smiled in amusement. "O'Neill did look rather confused."

Sam took a swig of beer as she settled into the couch. "I wonder if he even noticed that it was April 1st!"

"Did you see the way his mouth hit the table?" Daniel practically repeated the same thing.

"I must say though," Sam beamed, "General Hammond was definitely the most convincing one out of all of us!"

"Wow, Jack is going to be _pissed_ when he finds out!" Daniel giggled as he grabbed his beer back off the table.

"You mean _if_ he finds out." Sam corrected before they all burst out in laughter.

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_Back at the base…_

"Colonel O'Neill, sir." The Airman saluted.

"As you were." The soldier returned to sitting in front of the console. "Airman, could you please bring up the footage from the briefing room security cameras from approximately 0800 hours this morning?" Jack requested as he stood behind the security camera console.

"Yes sir."

The video footage streamed across the screen as the day's events unfolded in reverse. "Airman, do any of these cameras have audio?"

"I'm sorry sir. All of the security cameras are video only."

_Shit. _"Okay, change the view to the second camera in the room." Jack intently looked at the footage. The second camera in the room gave Jack a full view of Sam. It was slightly fuzzy, but he could still read her lips.

Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. He watched the clip over and over focusing on her lips, latching onto every word she supposedly said. And there it was – the anomaly between the first thing she said and the second. Pause.

"Son of a bitch!"


End file.
